NES Chuck Norris jokes

I didn't get any of these jokes. However...

Chuck Norris can run Crysis. On a NES.

Chuck Norris can run Battletoads on an emulator with no Sprite 0 hit detection.

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Pretty weak.

Chuck Norris can play a Master System cartridge on a Game Gear...with no adaptor.

Chuck Norris can get the SNES to run 128 64x64 sprites with 60 fps of dynamic animation.

That's me, of course. Not_so_much_fun the Chuck Norris' jokes.

When Chuck Norris is playing Castlevania (PRG0) the game doesn't dare freeze just before the end boss.

When there is dust in Chuck Norris's NES cartridge there is no need for him to blow it off. At the mere sight of Chuck Norris's huge mouth open and ready to exhale is enough to make the dust particles jump off to their deaths.

When Chuck Norris does blow on a cartridge his breath is beneficial for the contacts.

Chuck Norris can win at Tetris.

Heh, check this: When Chuck Norris Chuck Norris Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris! See, I'm funny too.

When Chuck Norris is near the top and he badly needs a 1x4 block he gets it.


Now you're not even trying.

Chuck Norris is.

And Ed Fries can run Halo on an Atari 2600.


That's easy. NESticle has sprite 0, but it sure as $#!+ isn't hit detection.

And then there are the crossovers:

• Double Dragon Warrior
• Mighty Final Fantasy (or perhaps Final Fight VII)
• Body Harvest Moon: Cicadas attack your farm. Fight them by commandeering combines and other farm equipment.
• Tetra StarTropics: The Fighter (oh wait, isn't that StarTropics 2?)

Most Tetris games nowadays are capped at level 15 or 20 or whatever, designed so that they can be "won". Besides, even if Tetris isn't won, it's still solved.


Hold piece, introduced in The New Tetris, has been the rule in all Tetris since 2001.

Seriously, Alexey Pajitnov and Henk Rogers have made Tetris so easy nowadays that I don't see how it even fits the Chuck Norris template anymore.

At least they haven't added a stupid "super guide". The day someone releases a Tetris that plays itself and lets you "cut in" and "win" is the day gaming shall die.

Chuck Norris once played Tetris forever. Twice.

Chuck Norris often uses the microphone on the second controller...of a PAL console.

Meh. Chuck Norris <insert garbage here>. Your joke is ready... but no.

Chuck Norris can laugh at those terrible jokes about him.

PS : You'll have to admit that the only non-garbage one was mine, right ?

Actually, I'm sure that Chuck have much more important things to hunt & destroy... than these things.

...What?

When Chuck Norris's test ROM reads $2002 at the start of VBLANK bit 7 is always set.

When Chuck Norris sets the I flag on his 6502 NMIs don't dare interrupt the CPU either.

When Chuck Norris's test ROM encounters KIL/JAM/HLT the CPU continues fetching opcodes.

When Chuck Norris uses the $8B opcode he gets the same result every time...on different NES consoles.

This was honestly the only Chuck Norris joke in here that I slightly chuckled at.

So, are we done?

@Wednesday : Just shut your mouth up, will you ? PLEASE !

When Bregalad gets angry he PMs an admin to lock a thread. Wait a minute...that's not even funny.

Chuck Norris's Nintendo 64 is 128-bit, has internet access and has Final Fantasy 7 in it's library.

When Chuck Norris switches on his Game Boy with no cartridge inserted it still displays the Nintendo logo.

I really don't want to have to bring Secret Bear into this.


His N64 is an emulator. Big whoop.

I admit my posts in this topic aren't funny. There's a reason for that: neither a--$#!+$311@$$ NO CARRIER


tepples has entered the room
Let me try this again: Chuck Norris can play Wrecking Ball Boy before I even finish it by ROM-hacking Super Mario Bros. (Video)

Chuck Norris has 4 screen mirroring with NROM cart.

Ooooooooh!

When Chuck Norris plays Cheetahmen he has fun.

Some of this Chuck Norris stuff seems more like MacGyver to me. Know your meme, yo.

When Chuck Norris makes a mistake cpow doesn't dare correct him.

When Chuck Norris plays Final Fantasy 7 he can save Aeris's life.

When Chuck Norris shoots at a duck in real life with the Zapper Gun it dies.

When Chuck Norris finishes a castle on Super Mario Bros. the Princess is always there.

When Chuck Norris plays a NES game by LJN it doesn't suck.

MacGyver can build a scanline-counting mapper out of one 7400 series chip.
(Want to practice your MacGyver skills? Go to Discrete Logic Mapper Toolbox.)

Hey WedNESday, a lot of yours aren't so much NESDEV jokes as they are NES jokes.

Hey WedNESday, a lot of yours isn't even jokes and seriously when will you shut up ?

Chuck Norris's composite-PPU NES outputs RGB.

All of Chuck Norris's NES ROMs have the iNES header...version 3.0.

I have just noticed that this thread is indeed about NES jokes, not NESDEV. Doesn't make them any better, though...!

When Chuck Norris cracks a joke everybody's sides literally split open.

Every time Chuck Norris is playing COD and his XBOX 360 gets a red ring of death a man dies IRL.

Can we Chuck WedNorrisDay's jokes over a cliff? That was funny to me for about 20 scanlines.

That's why I split them out to a separate topic, so that you can put them on ignore.

Same here.

What???

What's wrong? My british wit too much for ya? Huh? HUH? WILL IS IT?

...

Coincidentally, Chuck Norris's NES can display 64 sprites...on the same scanline.

Perfectly do-able without Chuck's help. Sorry.

Do note it says Chuck Norris' NES, not Chuck Norris' emulator!

Chuck isn't smarter than me.

Wait... what am I doing here!?

NES = console

Chuck Norris's emulator is more accurate than the real thing.

Chuck Norris uses the Game Genie without a cartridge.

Chuck Norris's Virtual Boy is portable, colour, 3D and has 300+ games in it's library.

Uh... I'd say "CN uses Game Genie codes without a Game Genie cartridge".

Zepper!!!!!!

Team Fortress 2 was in fact a hat store until Chuck Norris one day decided to visit it.

Chuck Norris can get the sprites to stop flickering by blowing into the cartridge slot, or hitting the tv in just the right spot.

Only Chuck Norris can do a perfect split in MMC5 games.
Wait... isn't Van Damme?

When Chuck Norris is fighting Psycho Mantris in Metal Gear Solid he doesn't need to change his controller.

When Chuck Norris plays Metal Gear, in the game intro Snake parachutes and drops right into the Metal Gear nuclear walking tank room. In the NES version.

Also, Chuck Norris once played Metal Gear 2 Solid Snake with a MSX2 cartridge and a "PC Keyboard" famiclone...

Chuck Norris plays Gameboy color games on a DMG Gameboy!

Chuck Norris plays 3DO games on a 32-X/Sega CD combo.

Uh, Chuck Norris plays Quake on a 386.

Nice to see some people making an effort.

Chuck Norris can pause his PC by pressing the Pause/Break button.

Reminds me:

Chuck Norris can pause an online-game.

When Chuck Norris plays the timer never decrements.

Shaquille O'Neal's favorite handheld is the Neo Geo MVS, but he still loves his CPS2, even though it doesn't have as long a battery life.

Are you sure it isn't a Nomad with Shaq-Fu cartridge?

Chuck Norris beats all other TV shows set in Texas.

Chuck Norris' Windows password is Ctrl+Alt+DELETE.

His fingers were too big for the buttons.